Random dreams. Something about chasing something. Sunlight? People laughing. Or is it a bonfire? Sitting around in cheap metal folding chairs, drinking, telling stories, laughing. Dogs curled up, close the fire. Bottles of beer or some other alcohol, leaning over to scratch one of the dogs between the shoulders and, mmmm… the fingers feel good between my shoulder blades.
I snap awake and the dream fades immediately. There was… there were people. It was happy? Warm? Where the hell am I? This isn’t my bed. Right. Right. Doggy pile. Last night. Is it still night? I turn to look at the front window and my body says hello. I. HURT. My whole body aches. Aches as if I’ve been in the exact same position for hours. My stomach is dull and sore – a steady hum of low level pain that isn’t quite pain. Her. Elaine. She’s against my stomach. Warm, soft, small. She whimpers slightly in her sleep, pressing back against me. She smells like sex and, well, Elaine. Not just that smell that people have from their house and their own personal mixture of sweat and whatever else they have. Not just that. She smells sweet. Healthy. Strong but young. There’s this slightly sour smell that reads as “stressed” when I try to place it. She’s dreaming and I can smell the subtle shifts in her scent as it happens. I nuzzle the crook of her neck and the stress evaporates into this green grass scent that smells like happiness. Even in the darkness I can clearly see the spray of freckles along her shoulders. I can tell the darker roots of her red hair from the lighter ends. If I focus, I can see each individual hair clearly in almost pure middle-of-the-night darkness. Her small breasts barely even sag to the side as she lays against me. I watch as her small pink nipples stiffen and her scent changes again. A wet dream this time.
Stephen’s left arm is heavy on my side. I can feel a patch of soft chest hair against my back. Chest hair where he was smooth-chested before. His dick is thick and warm against my ass and I like the way it feels. I could try to lie and say it’s not me, it’s the woman. But, no. I like it. I like feeling him wrapped around me and the way his cock presses against me. I could get used to this. It feels safe and happy and warm. And arousing. It takes effort to put the past two days out of my mind. He smells similar to Elaine. Their scents have a point where they merge but are entirely distinctive in other areas. He smells more earthy. No, I can’t properly explain how. Not like dirt exactly but something similar? Older. There’s a slight bit of pain (a faint smell of something like cayenne and fire and blood mixed together) running through everything else. But, above all, he’s happy. He smells like sunshine and clouds. And farts. I know they’re his. And Elaine, too. Jesus, that’s uncouth. Very unladylike. And… and… some other stranger that smells nearly exactly like me must’ve come in during the middle of the night and farted nearby!
Faugh. I shift. Slowly. Carefully. Undoing myself from this bundle of warmth. This…
Pack. My pack. They both whine faintly as I stand. I may be little spoon to Stephen but I know damn well where I am in the scheme of things. I can feel it in me – this dominance. I’ve felt it over the past two days and I’ve seen their reaction to me. I’ve felt the emotional storm created around us as I’ve felt (and smelled) the way they feel. Their desires. Their needs. Their wants.
I’m a woman still. Curls of brown hair stir against my shoulders as I lightly step around the couple still sleeping. Elaine does this adorable fluid little full body scoot back against Stephen and his arm automatically comes up and around her chest. I feel a flood of happiness as I look over both of them. I should be dancing and singing and ecstatic over the fact that I’m still a woman but I can’t yet stop thinking of how amazing this whole thing is. This feeling of belonging. Of, well, not quite owning exactly but of leading? It’s something between the two of those, ownership and leading. I want to still be there, right in the middle but I need to pee badly and there’s this gigantic wet cum spot right where I was sleeping. Elaine is welcome to that. I grin as I walk to the bathroom.
It’s early morning. 5 am early. I can’t remember what time we curled up but I feel rested. Hell, I feel overly energetic. I want to run. I want to dance. I want to, no, I want to pee. Bathroom, bathroom. My full bladder feels like it’s in a slightly different spot. Maybe I’m imagining it but it just feels different. Pressing on different places. What I’m not imagining is how wonderful it feels to empty it. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation as I sit naked with my knees slightly together, hunched a bit with my full breasts pressing against my crossed arms. When I’m done, I sit up straight and feel the way my breasts settle against me. I smell sex, piss, cum (mine, Elaine’s, Stephen’s) and more. I can faintly smell the two still sleeping in the other room. I can definitely smell the bit of vomit from when I changed in bed. That’s rank. Why the hell didn’t I clean that up yet?
Looking down my smooth stomach and crotch (I never liked that word – it invokes imagery of genderless Barbie dolls for some reason) I can see a faint growth of pubic hair. That is new. Completely new. I touch it carefully and it feels softer than when I was a man. It’s just a slight triangle growth of hair but it means I didn’t change back last night. Seems way too fast but I think I have the werewolf to thank for that. I wonder if Stephen’s chest hair is permanent now? Or if he’ll have to shave more? I use a small square of toilet paper to clean myself off and I can feel the soreness from my vagina. I ache in general but I’ve been pounded and it actually kind of hurts deep inside of me. Werewolf dick, ay? That thing was massive. And the knot. I automatically do a womanly version of the guy’s “Oh, crap, he just got kicked in the balls!” cringe at the memory of the knot coming out of my pussy. That actually did hurt. A lot. Except I feel the increasingly familiar loosening inside of myself that tells me I liked it. That I want more of it. There’s a whimper (tinged with a happy growl-y noise) from the other room as I feel my pussy drool at the thought of the knot filling me up. I should theoretically be ashamed that they can smell me from where they’re sleeping but, why?
The house creaks more than I do as I move around. I’m getting used to this body and the way it feels. I’m surprisingly light on my feet. Graceful, even. I don’t need any lights since I can apparently see quite well without them. First thing first – the vomit. It gets worse as I get in the room and I briefly consider putting a dab of Tiger Balm under my nose but I just plow through it and keep my stomach in check. Spray bottle of soapy water and towels and done.
Should I cook breakfast? Is that what people do for other people? Or, more my speed and skill level, pour them a bowl of cereal? I feel… I feel odd. Not bad. Just odd. Crazy energetic but unsettled. With the smell of soap overpowering the vomit, I climb into the bed and lay back, legs straight out. The bed is a shredded mess but still comfortable. My hair does its own thing around me and I feel the tips tickling my skin. Eyes closed, breathing steadily. Fingers down and spread out, arms off to my side.
Who am I?
Normally when my thoughts are scattered, I would rearrange the house but I can’t do that right now. So, I just relax and think. Who am I? Now what? It’s hard to do but I put away the thoughts and concerns about whether this is permanent now. It’ll take time to cement it mentally but I just tell myself that it is what it is. I’m a woman at the moment. Definitely a woman. My breasts are pulled slightly to my sides and I can feel the way I ache deep inside from the way Stephen’s penis filled me up. From the different parts of me he was hitting deep inside. The … thing he was hitting. Was it the cervix? Perhaps I should watch more woman body videos. For… for science!
I can still remember the way Elaine’s clever little tongue felt against my clit as she pulled the hood back. I can smell my own wetness. But, who am I now? I know those two sleeping in there are mine. That thought is solid and true. Elaine with her happy little grin and her squeaks and Stephen with his rock solid steadiness. I want to know them. I want to learn their faults and their strengths and what makes them happy. I want to cheer them on when they are amazing and be there to hold them when they’re feeling down. I feel fucking proud of them right this second and they’re not even doing anything. Stephen smells dependable. Older. Wiser. That’s the earthy smell I got from earlier. Or at least most of it. But, I feel responsible for him. Not just because of what I’ve made them. Or maybe because of that? Fuck.
I know instantly when they’re awake. Stephen wakes moments before Elaine does. The very faint happy smell slips away into a mixture of sudden confusion, terror and then acceptance. And wonder. Stephen is still scared. I sit up. My teeth itch. I hear Elaine whisper, “Go to her.” They both stand and I can smell him coming closer. He stops at the door and isn’t looking at me. He’s terrified now. And slightly angry. And confused and hopeful and feeling very, very small and fragile. I reach for him but he still doesn’t look up. I could tell him to come to me and he would. I know this now. But, I stand and walk to him. Four short steps and I can feel the heat of his body radiating from him. Now when I reach for him, he folds himself into my arms and against my chest.
“I remember,” he tells me. His voice is quiet and on the edge of tears. “I can remember some of last night. What did you do to us?”
“I…” I don’t know what to tell him. What can I say to make this better? Do I apologize? Do I tell him I didn’t know? That I didn’t mean for it to happen? He’s so warm. My hands are making little circles on his back. Little soothing motions. He has a very, very faint line of hair that runs down the center of his back. His thick brown hair is soft against my neck and I feel his hot breath on my breasts and nipples. He wants to hold me. I can feel it and smell it. This man. This strong man that lived a hard life and came through the other end on his own two feet. This man that knew for certain that the world was what the world was. This man that provider for Elaine and felt the love and support she gave back to him. All of that changed. All of it different. Everything different.
The words just fall out of my mouth. “I love you.” I nearly recoil from the emotions that suddenly spike through him. I can’t track them fast enough and they slam into me hard. He’s crying. I feel the tears and snot against my skin and all I want to do is hold him tighter. He’s shaking silently as he cries, not willing or able to cry out loud. When I walk him to the bed, he follows easily. He sounds like a small, terrified little boy when he answers me between sobs. “I love you, too.” His voice cracks at the end and now he’s hugging me fiercely. I nearly jump when I feel Elaine’s light touch on my shoulder. I didn’t smell her coming. Or hear her. Her eyes are wet with her own tears. She climbs into bed behind me to press her face against my back. She doesn’t say anything but I can tell her emotions. She’s more simple. More pure in the way she feels things. Love. Respect. Worry. She hugs my stomach and now we’re all crying.
Time passes. Slowly. Very slowly, Stephen’s emotions untangle themselves. I still smell the light touch of anger from him but it’s barely there. My head and eyes hurt from the crying. I rub my face against Stephen’s rough short beard and feel him rub back against me. Nearly immediately he’s flooded with a sense of calm and peace and love. “What do we do now?” He whispers. From behind me I hear Elaine’s quiet little voice, her face and lips pressed against my back, arms tight against my lower stomach. “Break-ast” she mumbles. Stephen laughs first. He sounds like a man dying of thirst in the desert from all the crying he’s done. I join him and feel Elaine’s happy little smile against my back.
Stephen untangles himself from me and stands. Naked. Still. I practice safe eye contact with him but note that he now has chest hair covering his upper chest with a happy trail of hair down the middle of his stomach to his pubic hair. I ignore the erection. I can understand – two hot naked ladies in bed, right? HE should be the one practicing safe eye contact. It’s a wonder none of his office ladies have sued him for lewd conduct before. That’s a thing, right? That ladies do? I add it to my mental pile of woman research. He clears his throat. “I feel better. I’m sorry for that. For the… for that. And for snotting on your tit.” He grins when he says that last bit.
I wave magnanimously. “It is fine, good sir. I’ve had your fluids on other parts of my body. I consider them a gift.” Elaine is giggling quietly against my back. “Except your pee. If you pee on me, I’ll break your nose. Now be a good boy and go make us break-ast. Your lady… ladies demand it.” He very unchivalrously rolls his eyes at me but makes a mock salute and leaves with a “By your command, fair maiden.”
Elaine’s grip on me tightens and I grunt from it. Stronger than she looks. Well, shit, now she is, I guess? Thin, freckled arms with her hands clasped together in front of me. “Elaine, I…” She stops me with a hushing sound. It takes her a moment to talk. “You’re different to me,” she says. “Stephen is Stephen. He’s always been there for me. We’ve been through a lot of pain and trouble and he’s always been there. We’ve had arguments and grown together and there’s still a lot of room to grow. We promised each other we’d grow old together. That we’d spend the rest of our life together.” She stops again and this time for longer. Her grip tightens minutely. “YOU promise me now. Whatever you’ve done to us has shoved that bond down our throats. You promise me that you’ll be there for both of us now or I’ll walk and I’ll find a way to make it not hurt.”
My eyes burn. I want to cry again. I grip her little fist in my hand. “I promise, Elaine. And, I’m sorry. I had no idea this would happen. But it works both ways. I will hurt anyone that hurts you. I’m yours forever. Both of you.” We sit like that for a moment. Not speaking. She’s so warm and small against me. I can’t actually imagine life without her now. Well, no, I can but it is painful. I don’t like it. The thought of it.
“Don’t you have any flour in this dump?” Stephen yells from the kitchen and we’re both startled out of our moment.
Elaine’s lips touch my left shoulder in a light kiss. She moves slightly and I feel her breath on my spine right before she kisses me again. The small hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. Her voice is barely there. “Then, we’re yours.” She stands immediately and walks out without looking back at me. By the time she reaches the door frame she’s bouncing and singing some nonsense song about a monkey, a bear and a weasel all sailing in boat down a tumultuous river. I smile fondly as she flounces away before I realize I’m the monkey in this song. “Hey!” I yell, scrambling up from the bed. She laughs and runs for it. Little freakin’ weasel. I take comfort in the visual of her naked body as she dives around the corner. Her butt looks every so slightly bigger. In a good way. She just seems very slightly more fleshed out. I’m probably just imagining things but I like the view regardless.
It takes a bit to find my clothes. To find them and then mourn their loss. Destroyed. And even when they’re not complete tatters, they’re torn enough to not work. I try the other clothes Elaine brought but only two of the last four panties still fit. Why even bother? I ask myself. Elaine and Stephen have both opted out but that’s mostly because they don’t have a choice. My clothes survived better than theirs did. Breakfast turns out to be eggs with bits of sliced turkey and melted cheese. And toast. Water for all of us. I feel way dehydrated and it’s not just the crying. We eat mostly in silence except for a few grumbles from Stephen on the the lack of sausage or pancakes or anything else a civilized person might have for breakfast. Elaine grins and winks at me and then wolfs down her eggs.
With breakfast finished, Elaine goes to clear away the table but Stephen takes the dishes instead. She cocks an eyebrow at him but lets him. The exchange is interesting because I see the expressions but also smell the scents. Stephen is wary – not ready to be alone with me just yet. He talks as he cleans everything. “I do feel better. A lot better. I’m sorry but it’s all so different to me. And it’s not even the wolf stuff. It’s you. I felt this yesterday but it’s hammered in today. You’re suddenly in our lives. Not just a little bit but… I don’t know if I can shake that off. Ever.” He specifically doesn’t look at me while he scraps the eggs from my plate. His emotions spike again and I see Elaine wrinkle her nose out of the corner of my eyes. “And I don’t know if I want to. I feel stronger. More energetic. I can see a lot better in the dark. I can smell both of you over there. I can feel something pacing in the back of my mind. I feel… Look, I’m not the kind of guy to think the man rules the house but I’m bigger than Elaine and older so I usually took care of things. I protected her and sheltered her and gave her my shoulder to cry on. It’s this stupid stereotypical thing but I felt it – years of indoctrination or god knows what. That I’m the man and I take care of things. And then there’s you.”
I share a look with Elaine while he gathers his thought. She’s worried again but only slightly. The love I feel from her is almost painful. Stephen takes a deep breath to continue. “Your voice is like a command to me. Not because you’re trying to make it sound like that. Not at all. You just talk and it speaks to a part of me that says ‘Listen to her. Now do what she wants.’ and I do it. It’s a knee jerk thing yet it’s so strong. But, it also feels good in a way. It’s going to take time for me to figure this out.” I watch him dry the last plate and then set it aside. “I…” He turns to look at me. I can see a slight bit of red in his cheeks. “I LIKE what happened last night. I can only remember vague bits and pieces. Pain. Pleasure. Some images. But, holy shit, I enjoyed the hell out of that. I can’t exactly remember what I was feeling during the whole thing but I felt so alive. Free from so much. So powerful. And you. You were like this… this… god! I don’t even know but when I was the wolf, you shone like this… I don’t… I’m a lawyer and I don’t have the words. I just…”
The sharp ring of a cell phone from the living room cuts him off. We all turn at once, ears perked. I look to Elaine and then at Stephen when she does. His phone, then. Stephen looks at me and then the phone and then back to me. “Oh for the love of… Stephen, get your phone.” Elaine coughs to cover her giggle. Stephen curses as he tries to find the phone and then answers to talk briefly to someone on the other end. It sounds important, whatever it is. He comes back and… His dick. I sometimes forget to look away. It swings. It’s rather big. And it does such wonderful things to me. And, god, the way it feels in my mouth when he’s hard. My hand is reaching for my clit before I realize what I’m doing. Elaine’s breathing is rapid and I smell her own wetness. I wonder – was she turned on by herself or because I was? My money is on my scent doing it. Sex nearly happens. It so nearly becomes a mass table-breaking orgy right then and there. There’s this domino effect of me riling Elaine which riles me which nearly overwhelms Stephen. He’s watching both of us and his dick is now rock solid. I want to touch it. I want to feel it against my pussy lips. To feel the heat of it against me. The way it opens me. The way this pussy of mine feels with a man’s cock in it. How it feels inside of me and then the head rubbing on…
“They’re moving the date of Josh’s case up.” Stephen’s voice is incredibly strained. He has this vein near his right temple that’s all puffed out. Straining to hold himself back. “I need to meet with him now.” Elaine is practically panting. Not touching herself but wanting to so bad. Both of us are incredibly aroused and it’s permeating the room with our scent. Bitches in heat. Stephen’s eyes are pleading now. “Please.” He says. To me.
For a moment I think he’s begging for sex but I walk my memory and realize he’s talking about his work stuff. I stand and move to the other side of the kitchen. I try to talk but I can’t so I just nod my head and look away. I nod again when he asks if he can borrow some of my clothes. I have to pry open the tiny kitchen window before I drive myself mad. I feel what Stephen was talking about. This thing in the back of my mind. This wolf. Padding. Growling. Wanting. I can feel it almost as a physical presence. I take a deep whiff of the cold, wet outside air to try to settle myself. It does the trick – I thought Stephen’s scent was sometimes chaotic but the outside is insane. Harsh on my nose. It actually makes my eyes water a tiny bit. Elaine whines in a nearly dog-like noise that (looking over at her briefly) she doesn’t even notice she’s doing. But, she’s calming down and that’s fucking awesome because if we start, that’s that. Nobody will leave for hours.
Stephen in my clothes is amusing. I’m actually surprised he can walk in them. “My balls hurts.” He informs me in his best dead-eye Serious Lawyer face.
I glare at him. “Don’t blame me with you coming in here all … dick swinging and stuff. It does stuff to me. To this body. To me. Goddammit, all right. To me.” I’m blushing. I feel stupid and I’m blushing. Worry and shame and pain immediately comes from both of them. “Argh! Stop it! I’m not mad at either of you! I’m just – it’s taking some getting used to. I was straight, dammit. And, no, I’m not complaining. At all. I’ll get over it.” What I don’t tell them is that I almost said “with you coming in here all sexy-like” instead. For some reason, that does bother me. With everything that I’ve done so far, the immediate thought of looking at a naked man and thinking “That’s fucking sexy” bothers me. It’s stupid but it’s there. The physical desires are one thing but mentally thinking a naked man is flat-out sexy is completely different territory. My heart is beating too fast. Fucking stupid sunava….
“I have to go.” He tells me. ME. Not Elaine. I don’t even catch a whiff of jealousy from her. Or hurt. Business as usually. He doesn’t move.
“I… Stephen. Seriously. You don’t have to ask my permission for everything.” My heart is still racing from earlier. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
“But, see, I actually do have to ask. You don’t get it, do you? You don’t know what it’s like for me. Or for Elaine. It’s not so easy, sweatheart…” I growl. I feel my lips pull back and my very human ears twitch. My teeth are bared. Elaine is immediately stressed and angry. At Stephen. “… fuck. Fuck! I’m sorry. I’m… dammit. I have to go. I’m sorry.” Elaine goes to him to kiss him goodbye. I feel myself calm in increments. Heartbeat by rough heartbeat. He looks at me. Why? What does he want? I told him to go. He takes a half-step towards me but I see his nose flare and he stops. And turns. And leaves.
Elaine comes to me and hugs me. Her own heart is hammering in her chest. I hear the front door open and then close. The top of Elaine’s head comes to just below my chin and she’s rubbing it against my slowly. “He’s slow sometimes. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad. Please.”
“I’m not. Elaine, I’m not mad at him. Well, a little but I’m more mad at myself. This whole thing is … backwards. For me. It’s new and different and backwards. I was a man yesterday. Briefly. A straight man. Mostly straight? Still straight? Dammit. It’ll be okay, little one.” As soon as I say that, Elaine whimpers and hugs me tighter. I feel her calm almost as if I nuzzled her. These little triggers are odd. “We need clothes. There’s some sun through those clouds. Why don’t we find something that fits and go out?”
Elaine sniffs and nods and we both scrounge for clothes. My old man-clothes (hah) still kind of work for me but Elaine looks like a child in them. We play dress up for a little bit and laugh at each other before finally finding something that works for her – a set of the clothes she brought for me. They’re still too large for her but at least they aren’t terrible.
We’re still laughing when we step outside but then I stop. It’s the first time I’m going outside as a woman. As a complete, actual woman. In men’s clothing. That’s kind of funny in a way. I feel Elaine’s hand on my back, rubbing in a small circle. “You’re beautiful,” she tells me. Yeah. I do love her.
I have to adjust the seat in the car to make it work. And the rear-view mirror. The seatbelt is new and different. I try that in different positions before just leaving it and ignore the way it feels on my bra-less chest. Elaine is very much NOT looking at me right now. And, god, my hair! It’s all… hair-like! I keep hooking it behind my ear and it’s annoying the fuck out of me. Great. Now Elaine is laughing. Great. Do I get a hairband? … thing? Pony tail? Oh my god. Braids? Can I braid my hair? Well, not me obviously but someone? Elaine? I suddenly get this surreal mental image of Elaine sitting behind me braiding my hair and it does this weird butterfly-y thing to my stomach. Elaine is clutching her stomach, tears rolling down her cheeks as she laughs at me. I punch her in the arm but she just keeps laughing. I take back the comment about loving her. Bitch.
After she calms down, I ask about the Josh guy. “It’s a sad case, actually. Single father. The mother left when the baby was young. Ummm… how old again? I think the daughter’s 16 now? Vanished. Gone. Police think the dad did it. He was laid off of work a couple months back and neighbors saw them arguing all the time. Then she leaves one night and never comes back. The dad was out drinking and can’t remember anything. Stephen knew him when they were kids so he’s trying to help him out. That’s about all I know.”
“Does it ever bother you?” I ask. “To hear this stuff? The things he works on some times?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it does. Him more than me. He’s tough but the kid stuff always gets him. That’s where I come in all happy and smiley and bouncy. But, it hurts to see him like that.” My hand finds her knee and I squeeze gently. Her smaller hand covers mine and the rest of the ride is quiet.
I expect Elaine to be disappointed when we pull up to the thrift store but I’m pleasantly surprised when she tells me she loves this particular branch. Stephen does really well financially but apparently thrift stores have amazing clothes sometimes. I’m praying that by “amazing” she doesn’t mean leopard print. I’m nearly at the door when I stop and look up sharply. Across the street. “Elaine,” I ask. “Do you smell that?”
She looks at me and then closes her eyes to sniff. “No. What is it?”
I nod carefully to the two young men across the street. Young. Late teens, early twenties. Smoking cigarettes and laughing about something a guy named Frank said. Dressed in black with ragged, baggy clothes. “They smell like us, Elaine. Wolves.”