{"id":851,"date":"2022-11-02T08:51:52","date_gmt":"2022-11-02T15:51:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/?p=851"},"modified":"2022-11-02T14:02:45","modified_gmt":"2022-11-02T21:02:45","slug":"submerged","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/?p=851","title":{"rendered":"Submerged"},"content":{"rendered":"

An experience in a magical sensory deprivation tank forces a woman to change
\n—————–
\nOver 100 of my as yet unreleased stories can be found on my Patreon at: https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/markgraham<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I can see the whole room from where I’m standing.\u00a0 Subdued pop music plays from hidden speakers as people mill about, talking and laughing and socializing.\u00a0 All while I watch from my little corner, back against the wall.\u00a0 I wish I could join them but it’s just as difficult now as it was in high school.\u00a0 Maybe harder.\u00a0 I can barely look anyone in the eye.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cup I’m holding in my right hand feels warm against the very center of my palm so I know that means it’s probably burning myself.\u00a0 I move it to my left hand, holding it by the handle when I feel the heat radiating away from it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My right palm is bright red.\u00a0 I close it and tsk at myself for letting it go that long.\u00a0 As usual, I can barely feel my nails against my hand.\u00a0 All three of them.\u00a0 I can’t help but frown as I open my hand, staring at the stump of my ring finger and the ugly scarring that runs from the base of it to my elbow in an arching, erratic spiral – a fleshy crimson lightning strike that I keep hidden behind long sleeves.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Darla,” my friend says warmly in front of me<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hide my hand behind my back out of habit and take a sip of my cider, wincing as it burns my tongue.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“How is everything?” she asks, standing close but not too close.\u00a0 I can see the concern in her eyes.\u00a0 “Not too much to handle, I hope?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“No,” I tell her, blowing at my cider so I don’t have to look up at her.\u00a0 A lock of my black hair shifts and nearly dips into my cup until I brush it away.\u00a0 “It’s okay for now.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cynthia, my friend, is the only one that hasn’t given up on me over the years.\u00a0 I fight a constant battle of wishing she would just walk away while also privately clinging to the care she’s shown.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I know it took a lot to come,” she tells me, glancing to the side and waving when someone calls for her.\u00a0 “I’m just really happy you showed up.\u00a0 There’s plenty of food and alcohol and-“<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Go do your thing,” I tell her when someone else calls her name.\u00a0 Another sip of the drink and another painful, internal curse.\u00a0 “I’m fine, really.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s a lie, of course.\u00a0 I’m not.\u00a0 But I smile the best I can as she walks away with a backwards glance.\u00a0 I feel crushed and it’s hard to breathe, like the world is closing in on me.\u00a0 Growing brighter and louder and <\/span>heavier<\/i><\/b> until it’s too much to bear.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Looking over for Cynthia, I accidentally catch the eye of a man standing beside her.\u00a0 Short with a straight brown beard that looks like it’s been oiled.\u00a0 He grins at me and breaks away as if to come over.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That’s my cue.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I reach to put my glass down but it’s a wooden end table and there aren’t any coasters.\u00a0 Who doesn’t have coasters for a party?\u00a0 Cynthia, apparently.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh god, he’s coming closer.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The coffee table in front of me also doesn’t have coasters and is also wood.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My heart is pounding.\u00a0 I can almost feel him breathing down my neck.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At the center of the coffee table is a flat ceramic dish containing a small flower pot and a fake rose.\u00a0 I hurriedly lay my cup down inside the dish with a whispered ‘sorry’ to nobody in particular.\u00a0 And then I leave, looking back toward my friend to see if she’s noticed.<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span>The man realizes I’m leaving and he’s stopped in the middle of the room, watching me with a frown.\u00a0 Cynthia is talking with more of her friends, her hand against her mouth as she laughs at something but I see her glance my way as I go for the door.\u00a0 She looks sad for a moment but nods her head in understanding before turning back to the people around her.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Snowflakes whirl around me as the sudden, sharp burst of cold steals my breath away.\u00a0 Ducking my head, I suddenly wish I’d brought a scarf as the wind finds every gap in my too-thin coat.\u00a0 I turn up my collar and walk briskly past the line of cars parked next to the narrow sidewalk.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My feet crunch in the snow and I’m already feeling my ears burn as I shove my hands deeper in my pockets.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hate that I couldn’t stay.\u00a0 Cynthia’s shown nothing but understanding throughout the years and she’s such a good friend but it’s too much. All I can see are the jeering acne-marked faces and the sly looks of girls who knew they were better than me when I stepped into class in the middle of the junior year of highschool.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s not that I could blame them.\u00a0 My family lived away from the small town and we were recluses.\u00a0 My momma taught me herself until she’d suddenly passed, leaving my father with six children and no idea what to do.\u00a0 So, he’d sent me to school.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My right hand clenches when I remember the first time someone noticed it.\u00a0 An oversized boy had held me down to pull my sleeve back and they’d clustered around like I was some circus freak.\u00a0 Which was what they’d often call me.\u00a0 One girl threw up in the corner when she saw my arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Father hadn’t told me to be wary of them and he’d been too tired to notice the tears in my eyes when I’d come home.\u00a0 And I’d had to help around the farm so I didn’t have the time or energy to try to tell him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The whole time I’d tried to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault.\u00a0 I couldn’t even remember when it happened.\u00a0 The incident.\u00a0 I just woke up in the house, in pain with my momma screaming and my father holding me down.\u00a0 Blood everywhere.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was an old piece of machinery in our barn, gas powered with a massive belt and I’d gotten too close to it, apparently.\u00a0 Tore my finger off and degloved my hand.\u00a0 They rushed me to the hospital with my older brother staying behind to watch my siblings.\u00a0 I remember his face was as white as the snow falling around me now.\u00a0 And my brothers and sisters wailing.\u00a0 But I don’t remember the pain.\u00a0 Not at first.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next week I was in and out of awareness and when I finally came to, I was less.\u00a0 Less a finger with a massive scar that I had to rub lotion into so it wouldn’t stiffen.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even <\/span>I<\/i><\/b> was horrified by it so I wasn’t surprised at the other kids.\u00a0 Just ashamed.\u00a0 So I kept to myself.\u00a0 And I learned that it was an extremely hard habit to break over the years.\u00a0 Although, I think it’s graduated beyond a habit at this point.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A faulty sign buzzes and flickers and I look up by reflex.\u00a0 A pale, calming blue light outlines a business titled, simply, “Floating Therapy.”\u00a0 It was a large building – far bigger than the narrow ones neighboring it in the boutique neighborhood.\u00a0 In the window to the left of the door is a poster of a woman floating with her eyes closed and a subtitle of “Restricted Environmental Stimulation Technique” followed by bullet points espousing the benefits.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sensory deprivation.\u00a0 I’ve heard of it before and it sounded intriguing.\u00a0 Alone.\u00a0 Floating.\u00a0 No people threatening your space.\u00a0 No sounds or images.\u00a0 Just silence.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Maybe- maybe I could try it.\u00a0 Cynthia wants me to see a therapist but maybe this would be a good first step.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Snowflakes melting on my neck remind me that I’m standing in a flurry and I hurry on, clicking my keyfob until a car in front of me beeps quietly, muffled by the snow surrounding us.\u00a0 I try to shake off my coat before I slip inside and carefully back out to rush home to my bed, safely away from crowds and people.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No doorbell chimes when I open the door to the Floating Therapy business.\u00a0 It moves smoothly and closes quietly behind me as I stomp my feet on the rug at the entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The lobby has recessed blue lights with white paint and it’s quiet.\u00a0 There’s no reception desk but, instead, a white curved leather couch with a glass coffee table and three white chairs facing the couch.\u00a0 It’s all oddly soothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A side door opens and an olive skinned man appears, smiling when he notices me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Ah, Darla, yes?” he asks, his voice precise and warm and surprisingly deep.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He’s dressed in khakis with a white short-sleeve Polo shirt and brown penny loafers.\u00a0 I can’t guess his age but there are small wrinkles beside his eyes and the corner of his lips.\u00a0 He doesn’t reach for a handshake.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I’m so glad you could make it today,” he tells me, his eyes watching my face.\u00a0 He’s taller than me – not a difficult feat – but he’s relaxed with his arms to his side.\u00a0 His wavy hair is short and well maintained.\u00a0 I think I can spot a few gray hairs at his temples but then I look down.\u00a0 “The weather is terrible for my business and I’m always happy to have a new client.\u00a0 Such an exceedingly rare event.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Thank you for making time for me,” I tell him.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Nonsense!” he says with a soft laugh.\u00a0 “You’re my client, of course I’ll make time.\u00a0 Would you like to sit?\u00a0 I’ll go over the process.\u00a0 But, briefly so we don’t waste your time.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sit at the edge of the couch and he takes a chair, facing me across the glass table.\u00a0 He leans forward slightly with his hands clasped and I can see a large metal watch on his wrist.\u00a0 His forearm is thick with black hairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I take it this is your first time?” he asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Yes,” I say.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Good, good,” he nods.\u00a0 “It’s simple, really.\u00a0 I’ll lead you to your room where you’ll be allowed to change into a bathing suit in privacy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He pronounces ‘privacy’ with the ‘i’ like igloo.\u00a0 Pr-i-vuh-cy rather than pr-eye-vah-cy but otherwise has no accent I can discern.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“There’s a small button on the wall,” he continues.\u00a0 “You can press it when you’re ready and I’ll come in to assist.\u00a0 There’s a large, well, capsule in the room that you’ll step into.\u00a0 I’ll close the hatch behind you when you’re settled.\u00a0 You’ll be immersed in darkness and utter silence, floating on your back with your head above the water.\u00a0 I keep the temperature at exactly body temperature so you won’t even know you’re floating.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He waits for me to say something but I just nod.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“And that it’s it,” he concludes.\u00a0 “The time is yours.\u00a0 When your thirty minutes are over, a small red light will pulse and I’ll come to open the hatch.\u00a0 Do you have any questions?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“No,” I tell him, shaking my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“That’s fine,” he says, smiling in encouragement.\u00a0 “Shall we?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I follow him down the hall, stopping at the first door on the left as he opens it and waves me in.\u00a0 The capsule is a tank that dominates the room.\u00a0 It’s not aesthetically pleasing, all flat panels like an armored bug with a large round hatch in front of a set of steps.\u00a0 He leaves the room without a word and I set my bag down, locking the door before I strip.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The floor is cold but the room is warm and I dance from foot to foot as I fold my clothes to lay them on a bench set against the wall.\u00a0 I can’t help but glance at the door, despite the lock and I feel guilty for doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Finally, I step into my bikini – a one piece as I’ve never worked the nerve up to try a two piece.\u00a0 It’s snug over my ass and tight against my overly large breasts but it’s the only one I own.\u00a0 I bought it especially for this visit.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the wall above the steps is a metal button.\u00a0 I press it and then hold onto the metal handles around the hatch, steadying myself before stepping into the tank.\u00a0 The water is as warm as he promised and I pull myself in, turning to lie on my back.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don’t hear the owner – Charles, I think he’d said over the phone this morning – enter the room but his soft voice calls out from beyond the tank.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Now,” he says.\u00a0 “I want you to reach straight up.\u00a0 Do you feel the button there?\u00a0 Good.\u00a0 If you find yourself uncomfortable once the hatch closes, push it and I’ll come straight away.\u00a0 Otherwise, beside the button is the light that will flash when the time is up.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The light from beyond the hatch dims as he closes it and I’m left alone in utter darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There’s a rushing in my ears – tinnitus from working around heavy machinery on the farm and my heartbeat sounds incredibly loud.\u00a0 But, as I close my eyes and float, it fades away.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don’t quite sleep but I feel so incredibly relaxed that I fall into a kind of trance.\u00a0 Memories surge, desperately trying to fill the void but I push them, focusing on clearing my mind.\u00a0 It’s a struggle but it works.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am nothing and it’s the most satisfying feeling in the world.\u00a0 In this moment, I am nobody and the world around me doesn’t exist.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My hair floats behind my head and my arms are at my side but I can’t feel them.\u00a0 It’s as if I’ve shrunken down to a small-<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The red light blinks and I’m startled by it.\u00a0 It couldn’t possibly have been thirty minutes but I hear a metallic clunk and the hatch opens.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“There’s a fresh towel on the bench with your clothes,” he tells me.\u00a0 “I’ll wait for you in the lobby but, please, take your time.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting a few minutes to be sure he’s left, I exit the tank, grabbing the rim of the hatch and then the handles to ease out.\u00a0 The floor seems even colder than before so I rush to the thick mat I’d missed earlier, just in front of the bench.\u00a0 I unzip myself and peel the swimsuit off, shivering as it brushes against my nipples.\u00a0 They’re erect now in the cooler air, after being submerged in the warm water.\u00a0 Dark and thick, surrounded by tan areola.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The towel is fluffy and luxurious but, as I pat myself dry, it irritates my skin.\u00a0 As if the soft fibers were grating against my body.\u00a0 Dressing is quick but, again, my bluejeans and loose top scratch against me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dried, dead skin flakes away with each movement and the towel is covered with it when I fold it and lay it down on the bench.\u00a0 The skin left behind on my body is smoother and more pale.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I step into the lobby, Charles stands and smiles.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“So?” he asks, curious.\u00a0 “Was it everything you hoped it would be?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was, honestly.\u00a0 And more.\u00a0 I don’t know if it will help me with my social anxiety but the peace and calm I felt were incredible.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Yes,” I tell him shyly, scratching at my side, just beneath the swell of my breast.\u00a0 More skin flakes away, falling in slow patterns like the snow outside.\u00a0 “I’d like to come back soon.\u00a0 Maybe tomorrow?\u00a0 In the evening after work?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I believe that would work,” he agrees.\u00a0 “Perhaps 5 pm?”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Oh, yes,” I say, smiling and looking him in the eye for the first time.\u00a0 “That would be perfect.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After my time in the water, I took care of shopping before returning home.\u00a0 It’s already quiet for a Sunday evening and the snow is keeping nearly everyone home.\u00a0 Just the way I like it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The painful itch from my clothing has settled into uncomfortable background noise as I rush from my garage and into my small house.\u00a0 I sigh happily once inside as the heater surrounds me with warm air.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s out of character for me but, after checking that the curtains are drawn, I unzip and step out of my jeans.\u00a0 The relief is immediate, despite the goosebumps that rise along my legs.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I scratch at my legs while I put away groceries and the darker skin sloughs off painfully.\u00a0 Without noticing, as I bend to put food into the bottom shelf of the fridge, I play with the smooth flesh beneath.\u00a0 My touch sends a tiny, exciting thrill along my spine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My shirt shifts against my body, slowly pulling tighter to outline my breasts.\u00a0 The skin covering my spine is stretching as the bones extend, scraping and creeping into a bulge from the nape of my neck to my sacrum, nestled between the generous curves of my hips.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I reach back to scratch my spine and almost purr in the satisfaction it gives.\u00a0 The skin moves against my fingers and I reach as high as I can – between my shoulder blades and then down to just above my ass, straining to the tips of my toes.\u00a0 It feels <\/span>incredible<\/i><\/b> and I’m surprised when I stop and realize I’m wet.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wet and aroused, my body seemingly begs to be touched and caressed and scratched.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beneath my shirt, the bulge lengthens a fraction of an inch more and then stops, leaving me with the beginning of my caudal fin.\u00a0 All I know is my shirt is too tight and rough against my body and my bra is straining due to the new growth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With another glance around the room, I pull my shirt off and then reach behind to undo the double claps for my bra.\u00a0 Finally, I wriggle out of my panties and dump all three items in my hamper.\u00a0 My labia are slick against the smooth pale skin lining my inner thighs.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s such a rare and exciting feeling.\u00a0 I’ve not had much luck dating.\u00a0 I can’t seem to bring myself to try and, like the bearded man from the night before, I push away people if they get too close.\u00a0 There was rarely private time on the farm with my siblings and the work needing done and, well, it never seemed to be a priority.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now it was deep inside of me, crying out for attention and my awareness was heightened to a new level.\u00a0 Every shift of the micro currents in my house seemed to be a new touch from a gifted lover.\u00a0 It would be a shame to waste the moment, as fleeting as they seemed to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I glance at my bedroom but then looked toward my bathroom instead.\u00a0 Would it be the same?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I walked to the bathroom, the tiny black hairs dotting my arms and legs detached, some floating away behind me while others lay flattened and useless.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I sat on the edge of the tub as it slowly filled with warm water.\u00a0 I checked periodically but I couldn’t stop touching myself in between.\u00a0 Just caressing my body over and over until the tub was full.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unable to wait any longer, I lowered myself in, laying my head against the back of the tub while submerging myself, breathing out until my fin settled against the bottom of the tub.\u00a0 It didn’t compare to the tank but I still lost myself in it, surrounded by the pressure of the water as if it were a full body embrace.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My hand crept down my stomach, brushing through black pubic hair that waved in the water like small black seaweed.\u00a0 My touch pulled the loosened hairs free to leave my mound perfectly smooth.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I floated back to the top of the water, my fingers played with my pussy lips, toying with myself by sliding a finger against my opening.\u00a0 Raising it higher to rub the hood of my clit with a sharp gasp.\u00a0 I thrust my chest out, splashing water as I played with myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beneath the water, my pussy lips began to pull back, the wrinkled flesh growing smooth as they retreated.\u00a0 Bones moved glacially beneath my mound and my labia, engorged with blood due to my arousal, slowly began to come together until they formed a perfect slit with my lips hidden beneath.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I pushed a finger into my reformed pussy and my other hand reached for my breast, moaning at the double sensation.\u00a0 My labia separated slightly to allow my finger inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A quiet, lustful mewling sound escaped my lips as I worked the finger in and out, bending and straightening my toes beneath the water while massaging my own breast.\u00a0 I jerked when it became too intense but then slowed, playing with my slit.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My breast overflowed my small hand but it shifted in my grasp as fatty tissue melted away.\u00a0 Once again my hand sped up and I pressed my legs together, gasping with each stroke while bouncing my ass back against the tub.\u00a0 Waves formed, crashing against my chest as my breasts continued to shrink, sliding through my fingers until I could almost cup one in one hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was rising in me and my hand began jerking erratically as I shoved myself against my hand, gasping and moaning, my now-small breasts quivering against me beneath the water.\u00a0 Closer and closer and closer-<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Oh!” I shout, my mouth opening and closing.\u00a0 My muscles clench against my finger and I pull out, rubbing my soft, thick labia as I shake from a surprising orgasm.\u00a0 My feet twist together and my breath goes out in a ragged sigh as I lean my head back and laugh quietly.\u00a0 It’s such a sweet feeling and I wonder why I don’t do it more often.\u00a0 Wrapped up in the endorphins and riding the still-gnawing arousal, all I can think about is <\/span>more.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I want to stay in forever but I’m starting to feel cold.\u00a0 So, instead, I stand slowly, pushing myself up on the sides of the tub to stand on still-shaking legs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beneath me, unnoticed, the tub is full of small hairs and dead skin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I step out of the bathtub and remove the stopper to let the water drain while grabbing a towel.\u00a0 Once again I have to pat myself dry as rubbing is painful.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I’m done, I grab my phone to browse a few websites while I brush my teeth.\u00a0 The phone refuses to unlock with my fingerprint.\u00a0 After trying twice more and receiving a warning about the phone locking me out, I key in my PIN with perfectly smooth fingertips that show no whorl of a fingerprint.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The cold is starting to get to me and I shiver as I finish brushing my teeth.\u00a0 They feel sore in my mouth and I notice blood when I spit so I remind myself to be more gentle next time.\u00a0 Wrapping my towel around myself, I pad over to the thermostat but it’s already set as high as I normally leave it during winter.\u00a0 With a shrug, I increase the temperature a few degrees and head into my bedroom to slip beneath my comforter.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sleep seems somehow distant despite having masturbated.\u00a0 And my exposed face feels colder than I’d like.\u00a0 So, I pull my blanket up until it covers me completely.\u00a0 Until I’m submerged.\u00a0 It softens the sound around me and makes it darker.\u00a0 Safer.\u00a0 I drift off to a peacefully dreamless slumber.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ride into work is slow as the snow continues to fall.\u00a0 My heater is on full blast and all of the vents point at me but I can still feel the edge of the cold air and it drains me in a strange way.\u00a0 Makes me feel slower and dumber unless I’m directly in the blasting heat.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I fiddle with my seat controls as I squirm in my seat.\u00a0 It’s hard to get comfortable.\u00a0 I have to hunch forward until – there, finally I find the button to make the back of the seat concave and I can sit up straight. My fin conforms to the shape of the seat behind me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I drive and my attention wanders, I find myself grinding my back into the seat, twisting my upper body back and forth to scratch the fin hidden beneath my clothing.\u00a0 I’m not even aware of it beyond the relief granted.\u00a0 It’s satisfying. Yet the movement pulls the shirt against my chest, brushing against my nipples over and over until it starts to drive me mad.\u00a0 I force myself to stop but the nerves along my upper body throb for more attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My bra wouldn’t fit this morning and it’s concerning.\u00a0 I swear my breasts are way smaller than before.\u00a0 I almost wore the bra anyway but it looked weird beneath my shirt, folded over my soft, smooth white tits.\u00a0 Now I regret <\/span>not<\/i><\/b> doing it as my nipples poke against my shirt for anyone to see.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thankfully I had time to call in and make an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow morning.\u00a0 It was admittedly embarrassing to explain the reason for my visit to the receptionist making the appointment and I’m not sure she believed my explanation but it’s concerning.\u00a0 Just not ‘I need to go to urgent care’ concerning.\u00a0 I feel fine.\u00a0 Mostly fine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With a gasp, I realize I’m rubbing my sore back against my seat again and my hand is between my thighs.\u00a0 Rubbing myself.\u00a0 I thought last night was a one-off but I’m still feeling on edge.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It takes a considerable amount of willpower to focus and I hunch forward to help.\u00a0 When I pull into the parking lot, I finally feel more relaxed and less…. <\/span>Needy<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The air outside of my car is painfully cold and it staggers me as it seems to seep into my very core.\u00a0 I rush through it, trailing a swirling retinue of snowflakes as I make my way to the entrance.\u00a0 I can feel myself growing numb and cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I just.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I just want to.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Just want to lie down.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Can’t move.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My hand touches the handle and I pull at it feebly, my strength sapped by the chill air.\u00a0 It moves and the door opens with a welcoming blast of heat that invigorates my numb body.\u00a0 I stumble in and lean against the wall<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Darla, are you okay?” our receptionist, Tammy, stands and comes over to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Just.\u00a0 Cold.” I say, my teeth chattering as I rub my arms and stamp my feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The nerve endings throughout my body are on fire, popping off like little firecrackers from my spine and outward as they awaken slowly.\u00a0 My right hand in particular is throbbing.\u00a0 I clench my teeth and don’t even notice when they flex in my gums.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tammy looks at me in surprise that she quickly hides.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I’m fine, thank you,” I mutter, shuffling around her to walk down the hallway.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now that sensations have returned to me, I can feel a weight against my back and my hands are still hot and angry.\u00a0 I flex them as I walk, passing plain fabric walls until I find the little corner cubicle I’d begged for.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Good morning Darl- oh,” Shawna says, stopping herself to stare at me with blinking eyes.\u00a0 “Uh.\u00a0 Good morning!”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She walks away almost faster than I do.\u00a0 I make a quick stop at my desk to grab my coffee cup and then into the empty breakroom.\u00a0 They stock the room with tea and I happily abuse the generosity, taking a black tea bag and filling the cup.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I want to wrap myself around the cup when I pick it up.\u00a0 It’s steaming and too hot to drink but I almost take a sip anyway.\u00a0 The thought of it coursing through me and warming me from head to toes is intoxicating.\u00a0 Instead, I scurry back to my desk and sit, pressing the cup to my stomach while leaning over it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I bend, something pops in my back.\u00a0 I freeze and then move slowly and feel a smaller pop when I flex my body.\u00a0 I can feel it deep in my hips.\u00a0 It’s not painful but – I move and it pops again- it’s weird.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I sigh and hold the cup close, my coccyx clicks once more before muscles grow around it, holding it in place.\u00a0 The odd popping stops as it becomes anchored.\u00a0 The bottom of my fin elongates as another bone forms beneath the tailbone, forcing it away from my body.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Setting my tea down, I go to type in my password to log in.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And I almost scream when my vestigial right ring finger tries to reach for the “O” key.\u00a0 Clasping my left hand to my mouth, I pick up my right hand and stare at it.\u00a0 The finger is small – not even to the first knuckle but it’s fully formed and I can <\/span>feel<\/i><\/b> it on my hand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The scar – the horrible scar I’ve lived with since I was a child, has faded to a flat pink line.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My heart hammers in my chest as I turn my hand over and over.\u00a0 Ancient muscle memory returns and I move my missing finger and stare as it wiggles.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh god.\u00a0 It’s longer now, past the knuckle. \u00a0 It’s more pale than the rest of the fingers and the end is flattened and circular.\u00a0 Despite the oddity of it and the completely unreality of the idea of my finger regrowing, I’m struck by the fact that there’s no nail bed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carefully.\u00a0 Curiously.\u00a0 I reach out and touch my cup and the heat burns my entire hand.\u00a0 Tears fill my eyes as I feel it.\u00a0 As I feel it against my entire hand.\u00a0 Something I’d forgotten over the years.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But why?\u00a0 And how?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Blood rushes through my body as my heart hammers and sweat forms.\u00a0 I watch my finger continue to grow.\u00a0 I can bend it now.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think I’m going to be sick.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bouncing up, I rush to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.\u00a0 My tailbone writhes behind me, as long as my thumb but I bend in front of the sink and turn on the water, splashing my face again and again as I swallow back the bile at the back of my throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The feel of the warm water against my skin reminds me of my bath and the tank from yesterday.\u00a0 It calms me almost immediately.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I stare at the water cupped into my hand.\u00a0 My right ring finger is complete but oddly longer than the neighboring fingers and the tip is flattened.\u00a0 However, when I look closer, I can see the edges of my pinky finger are more round than I remember.\u00a0 The long, winding scar is gone now, leaving behind perfect, unmarred skin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of that is forgotten when I look up.\u00a0 My eyebrows are missing.\u00a0 Now I know why everyone was looking at me strangely.\u00a0 I touch my face, leaning in close.\u00a0 Are my eyes further apart or is that just an effect of the missing eyebrows?\u00a0 My hands glide across my wide face and then I bend and splash water once again, running all ten fingers through my hair.\u00a0 Strands come free but I’m hypnotized by my strange face as I wash my hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It’s all too much suddenly and I can’t stay at work.\u00a0 I can’t.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My breathing is shaky as I go to my desk, ducking my head to hide my face.\u00a0 I snatch my purse and then stalk through the office, avoiding everyone’s attention to the best of my abilities. I have years of practice at it.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Oh, did you-” Tammy starts to ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Feeling sick, going home,” I tell her, steeling myself for the cold outside.\u00a0 I take two quick breaths, push the door and <\/span>run<\/i><\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Okay, I’ll tell-” but her voice is lost to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As before, the cold saps my strength but I’m prepared this time, running as fast as I can.\u00a0 My car unlocks when I touch the handle and I jump inside, starting it and cranking the heater all the way up.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can’t breathe.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can’t.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I can’t breathe, it’s too much.\u00a0 It’s too much.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The world closes in and I see black lights at the edge of my vision as I hyperventilate.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Beneath my hair, complex systems evolve, tangling with my cardiovascular system.\u00a0 Hairlike tendrils of flesh push forth from my scalp, mixing with the hair they hide behind.\u00a0 Red dots the underside of the tendrils.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My new gill stalks tremble before laying flat.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tank.\u00a0 I was at peace there.\u00a0 Adrift in the quiet.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I fumble for my phone and dial the last number I called.\u00a0 The owner, Charles, answers on the third ring.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“H- hi,” I say as I try to calm myself.\u00a0 “It’s Darla.\u00a0 From yesterday?\u00a0 Do you- do you have time for me to come in?\u00a0 It’s just I’m feeling really bad right now and-“<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“My dear,” he says, projecting composure.\u00a0 “I’ll always have time for you.\u00a0 Please, yes, come in.\u00a0 I’ll prepare the capsule.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hang up and breathe deep.\u00a0 My gill stalks raise in response before folding down again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And then I drive.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Thank you so much,” I tell the owner but he waves his hand as if to wave away my worries.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Please, follow me,” he says, turning and leading me to the back.\u00a0 “Same room as before.\u00a0 I think perhaps you need longer this time.\u00a0 I can feel the stress exuding from your body and it pains me.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He opens the door and waves me in.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I’ll be waiting as before,” he says with a smile.\u00a0 “Please take your time.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After he leaves, I strip, tossing my clothes onto the bench before climbing the stairs.\u00a0 Anxious to begin.\u00a0 Eager to feel the water’s embrace.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a few minutes pass, the hatch silently closes and I realize I’ve entered the tank without my bathing suit.\u00a0 Yet, as I lay there with my arms spread, my eyes closed and the warm water around me, I don’t care.\u00a0 It feels good.\u00a0 It feels right.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I close my mouth and my gill stalks lengthen, pulling my hair loose.\u00a0 They grow thick as they wave in the water beneath me.\u00a0 The rod dots on my growing gill stalks sprout like scarlet ferns.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

With my mouth closed, I take a deep breath and my gills open for the first time.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The webbing between my fingers inches forward.\u00a0 I lower my hands in the water and <\/span>pull<\/i><\/b>, sinking myself deeper, twisting my arms to spiral in place with a smile.\u00a0 My fingernails fall away painlessly to reveal smooth skin beneath.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My eyes slowly open as my eyelids recede.\u00a0 Something brushes the back of my thighs and I panic for a moment, turning and reaching to feel what-<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But then, light.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Another hatch, set against the bottom of the tank and hidden by the darkness, opens to reveal sapphire lighting.\u00a0 I float and then swim to it, holding the edges with elongating fingers to peer through.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My external gill stalks wave behind me like unruly red and white hair.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There’s an entire world waiting beyond, a beautiful warm seabed beyond the mechanical portal of the tank.\u00a0 Unfamiliar plants wave slowly over rocks and sandy slopes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My tailbone shifts in apprehension, pulling my fin in a waving pattern and it almost propels me forward.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have to see.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I kick, spreading my toes to catch the water until I’m clear of the opening and then my arms join in and I race through the water with a stream of bubbles behind me.\u00a0 My small breasts shrink further, pulling against my body until they’re small lumps.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“My beautiful siren.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The voice comes from <\/span>everywhere<\/span><\/i> and I whirl in a panic.\u00a0 It’s Charles’ voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A white light shines through the blue of the water.\u00a0 I move toward it and the tip of my tail brushes the back of my knees.\u00a0 It takes a moment but I see him finally.\u00a0 There’s a giant glass wall and Charles stands behind it in a semi-dark room.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But he’s not important right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I see my reflection.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My hair is as thick as tentacles and my fingers and toes are nearly twice as long as before with a translucent skin between them.\u00a0 I move, surprised by the sight and my tail shows itself, as thick as my thighs and topped by a waving line of skin.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Worse, my face is unrecognizable.\u00a0 Wide now with my eyes spread to the side.\u00a0 I reach up, hesitantly, and touch where my nose would be.\u00a0 I brush the two closed slits of my nostrils instead.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My ears are so small.\u00a0 Shrunken and close to my skull, nearly hidden behind the red stalks of my gills.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Movement.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Behind me.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I turn awkwardly to see a woman swimming towards me.\u00a0 She’s stunning with pure white hair and heavy breasts floating freely.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And a giant, green-scaled tail in place of her legs.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She smiles with sharp teeth that frighten me but her eyes are soft and caring.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Don’t be alarmed,” Charles says soothingly.\u00a0 “It’s only the two of you.\u00a0 So far.\u00a0 Angela has been so lonely lately.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The mermaid stops at a distance to grab her hair and hide her face.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A mermaid.\u00a0 A- A- fucking mermaid.\u00a0 The bad language, even mentally, makes me feel uneasy but she’s floating right there in front of my eyes.\u00a0 And what am I?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“You make quite a pair,” Charles continues.\u00a0 “I hope to find more but the magic is fickle and my client’s choice is such a large part of it.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Choice?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Did I choose this?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His words fill me with doubt but, as I turn to face him, the water surrounds and supports me.\u00a0 There’s silence and a beautiful solitude to be found here.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“It will take time to transport you both properly,” he says, his voice booming throughout the water.\u00a0 It’s muffled in a strange way but still clear to me.\u00a0 “Angela has made the trip once already but I want to return you both to my island.\u00a0 The waters there are even more beautiful and you’ll be truly free.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She swims to me hesitantly.\u00a0 Watching my reactions.\u00a0 I let her come, staring at her still-human face.\u00a0 So unlike mine now.\u00a0 Broad and vile and-<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she reaches out to touch my cheek with a smile and a slight tilt of her head.\u00a0 Her hand brushes my skin and I can’t help but lean into her caress.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The light behind Charles fades as he turns to walk away, leaving the two of us together.\u00a0 I’m terrified but as Angela takes my arm gently to pull me deeper into the tank, I can’t help but wonder at the new life before me.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Unfettered.\u00a0 Unbound.\u00a0 The worries of society lifted from my shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I breathe deeply and exhale bubbles which delights Angela.\u00a0 She claps her hand with dimples in her cheeks and a shine in her eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When she pulls again, I follow, losing myself in the depths.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An experience in a magical sensory deprivation tank forces a woman to change —————– Over 100 of my as yet unreleased stories can be found on my Patreon at: https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/markgraham I can see the whole room from where I’m standing.\u00a0 Continue reading Submerged<\/span>→<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[481,480,471,9],"class_list":["post-851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story","tag-fish-girl","tag-fish-woman","tag-gills","tag-transformation"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p42NMN-dJ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=851"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":853,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851\/revisions\/853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hidden-shelf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}