I wake to grey light filtering through the blinds in my room.\u00a0 It’s utterly quiet outside.\u00a0 My head is pounding and my throat is completely dry.\u00a0 I feel like I haven’t had water in days.\u00a0 I work my mouth a few times, croaking and trying to make spit happen.\u00a0 It makes me cough and I roll over to my side and pull myself up to kneel.\u00a0 My head aches from the movement.\u00a0 I close my eyes against the pain at my temples.\u00a0 When I open them, I see it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m back.\u00a0 To me.\u00a0 To old me.\u00a0 I close my eyes again and almost feel like crying.\u00a0 I don’t even know why but I can feel a lump in my throat and the threat of tears starting.\u00a0 I breathe deeply with my forehead against the bed until the feeling passes.\u00a0 I don’t even know why that just happened.\u00a0 The only thing I can come up with is it feels like something is missing.\u00a0 A part of me.\u00a0 Some important thing that’s gone.\u00a0 For a half second, I wonder if I dreamed all of last night but I know my dreams and how they work and that’s impossible.\u00a0 Plus… when I sit back, I touch my leg and feel the dried cum.\u00a0 Even from here I can smell it and I know it’s not just mine.\u00a0 Not just my old cum.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I taste my fingers and I feel the stirrings of my erection.\u00a0 The switch from pussy to cock is surreal.\u00a0 Earlier is a blur but it was such a strong feeling that I can feel the echo of it even still.\u00a0 My brain is having a hard time remembering the feel of a wet pussy.\u00a0 My dick throbs from the memory of it and there\u2019s this strange disassociation that my brain is doing.\u00a0 It\u2019s trying to put me in the place of a man fucking the she-wolf rather than me being the she-wolf and masturbating.\u00a0 It\u2019s trying to compensate for what happened.\u00a0 Trying to reconcile it with me as a man.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It takes 5 seconds to cum while jacking myself off.\u00a0 I almost feel pathetic.\u00a0 I don’t even try to stop the cum as it spurts all over the side of my bed.\u00a0 Only then do I notice a large dried spot on the floor where I was laying.\u00a0 I lean down and smell it – it’s the she-wolf’s scent.\u00a0 Before I know what I’m doing, I’m rubbing the side of my face against it, a small growl escaping my lips without a thought.\u00a0 The cheap carpeting is only very slightly wet now.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I almost cry again but I put it away quickly.\u00a0 The suit!\u00a0 It has to be somewhere.\u00a0 I search frantically.\u00a0 The bedroom is empty except for the plastic wrapping the suit came in and the shattered box.\u00a0 I don’t remember breaking it.\u00a0 Nothing under the bed, in the closet… In my rush, I step on glass from the broken dresser mirror and it hurts badly but I ignore it.\u00a0 Hallway closet, kitchen, bathroom, living room – all are empty.\u00a0 The lid for the box is in the living room but that’s it.\u00a0 I peek out of my front door onto my steps but no new box waits for me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I can feel the lump in my throat yet again but I push it away and make my way to the shower.\u00a0 Sleep won’t be coming again tonight.\u00a0 This morning.\u00a0 Whatever damn time it is.\u00a0 Not after that.\u00a0 I notice the small bit of glass in my foot when I step onto the bathroom linoleum.\u00a0 I bite back a curse and sit to pull it out.\u00a0 The seat is cold on my ass.\u00a0 I feel drained.\u00a0 Of energy and everything else.\u00a0 The shower heats up quickly and I step into the warmth, closing my eyes to water cascading over my face and hair.\u00a0 Memories of the night hit me almost physically, forcing me back.\u00a0 A small whimper escapes my lips and my knees buckle.\u00a0 I sit before I can fall from it.\u00a0 Clutching my knees to my chest, I let my mind go and ignore everything except the steady stream from the shower head.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I don’t know how long I sit like that but I can feel the water starting to turn colder.\u00a0 I stand and start my routine – shampoo worked into my blonde hair.\u00a0 Bar of soap, lathered with my hands and then… when I accidentally brush my soapy hands against my small nipple, I feel a tiny jolt of electricity shoot down to my balls.\u00a0 My dick works at becoming hard but it’s too soon after jacking off and it stays mostly limp.\u00a0 I turn with my back to the shower head and lean my forehead against the shower wall.\u00a0 My finger tweaks my useless nipple and I feel the tickling electricity building at the base of my dick.\u00a0 I know it’s useless but I touch the spot between my balls and my ass with my other hand and press against my skin. \u00a0If I pretend hard enough, I think I can feel a faint echo of last night’s pleasure.\u00a0 But, I’m fooling myself and all I’m feeling is the ticklish pressure building in my balls from the nipple.\u00a0 I stop and rinse off, sighing heavily.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Five minutes to finish brushing my somewhat crooked teeth.\u00a0 My parents could never afford braces and, now that I’m older, there’s other things I’d rather buy.\u00a0 It’s when I’m pulling my pants on that I notice – I’m thinner than I was before.\u00a0 My excess fat is gone.\u00a0 Everywhere. \u00a0No developing beer gut, no slightly flabby arms and I can see the faint trace of muscle on my legs.\u00a0 Not actual toned muscles but there’s no fat to hide what’s there.\u00a0 My pants are loose enough for me to notch up three more holes on my belt.\u00a0 My polo shirt is noticeably loose but I have nothing tighter – I donated all of my old smaller clothes to Goodwill years ago.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I sit and think about it while rubbing my leg.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Burning calories for whatever happened last night or something else?\u00a0 I don’t feel different otherwise.\u00a0 No strange bursts of energy, everything else looks the same.\u00a0 Same moles, same few freckles, same pimple on my left arm and everything.\u00a0 I couldn’t even begin to guess.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My bedside clock tells me it’s getting close to 6 in the morning so I decide to check for any messages from the dating websites I use.\u00a0 Primarily OKCupid but I’ve had a few nibbles on Craigslist as well.\u00a0 Lots of freaks and fake people on that last one but I’ve become good at sniffing them out.\u00a0 Takes me a bowl of sugary cereal to make my way through new ads.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I almost respond to one ad on Craigslist but then I stop.\u00a0 What the hell?\u00a0 Did last night seriously happen?\u00a0 What the fuck am I doing?\u00a0 I stand and hunt for the packing slip from the box… crate… thing.\u00a0 I find it on the floor next to the couch.\u00a0 It’s empty.\u00a0 Completely blank – my name isn’t anywhere on the sheet of paper.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 No faded ink, no impression from any typewriter or anything else.\u00a0 Just a pure white piece of paper.\u00a0 But, the paper exists.\u00a0 And the box.\u00a0 And the plastic bag.\u00a0 I’m not losing my mind.\u00a0 I’m not.\u00a0 The cum on the carpet, too.\u00a0 I didn’t make that up.\u00a0 I didn’t run a marathon in my sleep and burn off all my fat somehow.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My alarm startles me and I drop the paper.\u00a0 Shit.\u00a0 It’s my warning to start heading to work.\u00a0 Should I call in sick?\u00a0 And then what?\u00a0 Mope around my apartment?\u00a0 No, no.\u00a0 Not that.\u00a0 Work will distract me.\u00a0 I’ll take some time to puzzle things out and I can tackle things again when I get home.\u00a0\u00a0 I grab my wallet, keys and jacket and head out.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My car is a humble little Honda that gets me going fast enough to barely beat the morning traffic rush.\u00a0 Nearly 180,000 miles and still going.\u00a0 It was a graduation present from my parents and I’ve tried to keep it in good shape.\u00a0 The best I can, anyway.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There’s usually not too many people in at this time of the morning and today’s no exception.\u00a0 The receptionist doesn’t get in until 8 and my boss gets in whenever the hell he wants so I make my way quietly to my desk.\u00a0 We have a fancy coffee and tea machine with free packs of both but coffee is disgusting so I load up my huge mug with hot water and a packet of green tea.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Work passes.\u00a0 I’m barely there.\u00a0 It’s the same thing as most every other day – pressure from the sales team, my boss hiding and letting me take most of the hits.\u00a0 I’m counting the minutes until I’m done.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When I finally am done, I bolt for it.\u00a0 But, rather than follow my routine and head home, I sit in my car.\u00a0 A few other people make their way to their cars but I lean my seat back and close my eyes, breathing in slowly.\u00a0 I try to let the stress from work just wash off of me.\u00a0 Instead, my brain helpfully offers of imagery from the night before.\u00a0 Like an asshole.\u00a0 Last night is hard to remember exactly but I get little flashes of things.\u00a0 Looking down at … my breasts.\u00a0 The incredibly intense feeling of the pussy and clit.\u00a0 The fur and tail and muzzle and – but, no.\u00a0 Little flashes.\u00a0 That’s all I can remember.\u00a0 It’s not that the memories are fading, they’re just fuzzy and broken.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Pushing the memories aside, I find I’m rubbing my dick and chest.\u00a0 Except not really rubbing my dick at all.\u00a0 I’ve got my hand cupped around where my dick and balls are in my pants with my two of my fingers brushing against the area below the balls.\u00a0 I’m massaging my balls, dick and that one spot.\u00a0 And moaning while arching my back ever so slowly.\u00a0 The hand on my chest is pressed against my pec – right where the bottom of some imagined tit would be.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I flush and stop.\u00a0 Except to scratch my chest below the imagined breast – the shirt feels loose and itchy against my skin.\u00a0 It’s a good scratch, too. I feel it all the way down to my feet, through my balls.\u00a0 My feet twist in response.\u00a0 Damn.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A decision is made.\u00a0 New clothes!\u00a0 For some reason, the thought of going home like usual does not work for me right now.\u00a0 I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.\u00a0 Not right now.\u00a0 Going back home, being near the bedroom… I think having experienced what I did and then losing it is not something I want to face right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s like learning your favorite childhood home was bought by someone else.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to go and see what they\u2019ve done to the place – the memories are too painful.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Traffic is somewhat light and it only takes me ten minutes to find a parking spot in the sprawling mall parking lot, near the JC Penny side of the mall.\u00a0 I feel nervous being in public.\u00a0 Anxious.\u00a0 As if everyone looking at me knows what happened last night.\u00a0 Knows about my fetish, the werewolf stuff and the… the… whatever happened.\u00a0 That I was a woman. She-wolf.\u00a0 Whatever.\u00a0 It feels like they’re all staring and judging me.\u00a0 Dammit.\u00a0 I don’t usually get creepy paranoia but it’s hitting me pretty hard and making my heart pound in my ears.\u00a0 I almost decide to go back home after all.\u00a0 Almost.\u00a0 I feel weirdly self-conscious and that’s never happened.\u00a0 But, no, I keep going.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The store is slightly busy.\u00a0 As usual, the entrance dumps me into the women’s section.\u00a0 I think it must be standard policy for department stores to have the men’s section out of the way upstairs or in a small corner.\u00a0 And then they hide the escalators.\u00a0 It takes me a moment to spot the way upstairs but I do and I make my way there.\u00a0 Through the lingerie section.\u00a0 I can’t help glancing at the mannequins.\u00a0 It’s a thing – like spotting a pretty girl at the corner of my eyes.\u00a0 So, I look.\u00a0 And I turn red.\u00a0 And stop.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Did I look like that?\u00a0 I feel my dick stirring in my pants and I’m thankful they’re loose now.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The mannequin in slim.\u00a0 From what I remember last night, I… I turn red even thinking of it.\u00a0 Thinking of myself in that way.\u00a0 As a woman.\u00a0 Like the mannequin.\u00a0 But, no, I was more fleshed out.\u00a0 I don’t know if it was because of the werewolf bit or something else but I remember the size of my thighs.\u00a0 The size of my breasts.\u00a0 I wish I’d seen myself as a plain w… I stop again.\u00a0 Jesus.\u00a0 What the hell?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, I’m not going to be ashamed of it.\u00a0 I was a woman.\u00a0 A she-wolf.\u00a0 Temporarily.\u00a0 There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have seen what I looked like as a woman.\u00a0 It doesn’t change who I am.\u00a0 I just… looked a lot different.\u00a0 And wished I could’ve seen myself better.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So I look at the mannequin and wonder.\u00a0 And feel my erection throbbing.\u00a0 Did my ass look like that?\u00a0 My ass as a man is somewhat flat and simply there.\u00a0 Did I have wider hips?\u00a0 I think I did.\u00a0 Dammit.\u00a0 The she-wolf.\u00a0 I can’t make up my mind to think of it like “Did I…” or as “Did the she-wolf…”\u00a0 I was the she-wolf but there’s a difference there.\u00a0 Something I won’t see again.\u00a0 Something that wasn’t entirely me.\u00a0 From what I remember of looking down, my (I was in that skin so they are mine, not the she-wolf’s \u2013 why quibble about it?) breasts were definitely bigger.\u00a0 I don’t think I’ve ever seen a department store mannequin with big breasts.\u00a0 Or even decent sized.\u00a0 I’m scratching my chest again, subconsciously, but it feels good so I let it go.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I find my eyes drawn back to the ass of the mannequin.\u00a0 The ass and where the pussy would be.\u00a0 I can remember my fingers between my thighs, rubbing my pussy and I can almost remember how it felt – the wetness on my fingers (paws?) and the electricity of those same fingers on the… my pussy lips.\u00a0 I imagine the mannequin on its knees, fingering itself like I did, leaning forward with one hand on the ground. \u00a0I have to physically shift my feet around at the memory and visual.\u00a0 My face must be bright red right now.\u00a0 And then, in my imagination, the mannequin goes to both hands, ass in the air, pussy wet and waiting for me and I feel the ache in my balls.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Only it’s not me.\u00a0 It’s not me behind the mentally animated mannequin.\u00a0 I’m placing myself in the mannequin’s spot and someone else is behind me.\u00a0 Me on my hands and knees, ass up.\u00a0 Me with a dripping cunt.\u00a0 Me waiting for … for what?\u00a0 For what?\u00a0 For who?\u00a0 I don’t… I don’t know how this ends.\u00a0 It has to be a woman behind me, right?\u00a0 But it’s not.\u00a0 My fucking brain keeps pushing a picture of some faceless guy on his knees behind the mannequin… me… the she-wolf.\u00a0 FUCK!\u00a0 It’s confusing as hell.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I don’t go for woman-on-woman porn.\u00a0 I enjoy watching the penetration and watching the woman get fucked.\u00a0 Not fake porn star stuff but amateur videos where the couple is actually enjoying themselves and making really hot, honest noises.\u00a0 Yeah, I get hard watching two women go at it.\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 But I’d rather watch a guy and girl do it.\u00a0 Or dig through my werewolf stuff for a good picture to look at.\u00a0 Some random woman transformed half-way into a werewolf, naked and turned on from the change.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My brain isn’t helping.\u00a0 It’s picturing the mannequin\/she-wolf on hands and knees, putting me there since I was just picturing how I stacked up and then adding in the guy.\u00a0 And it’s not me as the guy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And I want it.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, the she-wolf wants it.\u00a0 It’s not me.\u00a0 I’ve accidentally caught gay male porn while digging around and I can honestly say it didn’t do it for me.\u00a0 At all.\u00a0 I don’t harbor secret homosexual desires.\u00a0 I’m not a closeted homosexual.\u00a0 Men just… they just don’t… It’s the same.\u00a0 That’s what it is.\u00a0 The same as watching the porn – men and women.\u00a0 No big deal.\u00a0 I’m just picturing it slightly differently is all.\u00a0 And because I lived that, as a woman, she-wolf, whatever – I lived that briefly so I’m just seeing it for a bit in that way.\u00a0 I relax muscles I wasn’t aware I was holding.\u00a0 So, if that’s true…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The imagined faceless man leans forward, holding his dick and guiding it toward the w… my… puss –<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Can I help you find anything, sir?”\u00a0 The saleswoman’s voice makes me jump.\u00a0 Literally. I can’t remember the last time someone made me actually jump.\u00a0 My heart is suddenly in my throat and the only reason I don’t shriek is that I can’t make my mouth work.\u00a0 I feel my face absolutely burning as I gape at the woman like a dying fish.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When my voice finally works, I gasp out a “No, just looking!”\u00a0 And then turn even redder when I realize how that sounds right now with where I\u2019m standing.\u00a0 The lady raises an eyebrow at the comment.\u00a0 I’m not graceful about things.\u00a0 I just walk away.\u00a0 I’ll remember that incident for a very, very long time.\u00a0 I avoid looking at anyone else as I make my way up to the next floor, straight to the men’s area.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Polo shirts and slacks.\u00a0 Simple.\u00a0 I hold a few up to myself and it looks like I’m an easy medium size now.\u00a0 Pant size seems to be a 30 rather than 34 and the 30 looks like it’ll fit slightly loose.\u00a0 Normally I’d just buy the clothes and go but I need to make sure they fit.\u00a0 I avoid the sales ladies in shame and find the nearest room and strip bare.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The pants fit but I’m off on my guess – they’re oddly snug around the sides.\u00a0 Not bad but they remind me I’m wearing them whenever I move.\u00a0 I admire myself in the mirror.\u00a0 No shame in that – I can’t remember the last time I was in shape.\u00a0 My stomach is flat and my… oh, I hadn’t noticed.\u00a0 My chest is hairless now.\u00a0 Funny.\u00a0 I used to have just a bit of chest hair between my pecs but it’s gone now.\u00a0 I could see that making sense if changing into a lady.\u00a0 Whatever caused it to happen could\u2019ve killed all my body hair or something but there’s the werewolf thing as well.\u00a0 Would they have canceled each other out?\u00a0 And smooth.\u00a0 I run my fingers along my chest where the hair used to be and then over to a small line of redness on my side, a little ways below my left nipple.\u00a0 No wonder I’ve been scratching.\u00a0 No bumps or anything – just red.\u00a0 I scratch lightly and it feels wonderful.\u00a0 Which probably means I shouldn’t scratch.\u00a0 I wonder if I’ve become suddenly allergic to my detergent?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The shirts won’t work – they bother my skin.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 I could try washing them at home (with a new detergent?) and see if that does it but it feels like things are crawling all over me while I’m wearing them.\u00a0 At least with my old shirt, it was loose so I couldn’t notice.\u00a0 I check the tag on the new shirts – polyester and cotton. \u00a0My old shirt is the same.\u00a0 Shit.\u00a0 All right.\u00a0 I dress back in my old clothes and head out, putting the new shirts back.\u00a0 I nearly find a sales lady but I’m still stinging from earlier so I just start walking around.\u00a0 Almost everything is a polyester\/cotton blend.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Oh.\u00a0 Silk.\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 That feels nice.\u00a0 But, Jesus!\u00a0 $70 for a simple shirt?\u00a0 Still… I grab a couple and head back to the changing room.\u00a0 The difference is amazing.\u00a0 Yeah, I’ve touched silk before but I’ve never worn it or felt it against my skin this much.\u00a0 And the way it rubs against me? Against my nipples?\u00a0 I’m sold.\u00a0 I don’t feel any of the irritation I felt earlier and they just feel so damn good.\u00a0 And pricey.\u00a0 I shrug.\u00a0 I’m fairly smart about my money so it’s not a big deal even with my meager paycheck.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Two shirts, two pants and I can even look the cute checkout girl in the eye without blushing.\u00a0 There.\u00a0 See?\u00a0 I’m fine.\u00a0 I can look at the checkout girl and know that I’d fuck her in a heartbeat.\u00a0 I like girls just fine.\u00a0 I can easily see her bent over her counter top, my hands grabbing at her little tits, fucking her from behind, my dick slamming into her over and ov-<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Sir?\u00a0 Is this all today?”\u00a0 I’m growling a little and clawing the top of her counter slightly with my nails.\u00a0 Jesus.\u00a0 What?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Yes, sorry.\u00a0 Sorry.\u00a0 Yes, that’s all.”\u00a0 I clear my throat and look away.\u00a0 As nonchalantly as possible.\u00a0 And failing at it.\u00a0 Debit card swiped, bag grabbed, girl’s eyes avoided and I make a hasty exit from the store and to my car.\u00a0 And from the car to my house and inside.\u00a0 I don’t think of anything on the way.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 I keep focused on the cars in front of me as I drive.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Only when I’m safely inside my house do I relax.\u00a0 And, yes, I checked the front for another mysterious box.\u00a0 I have to face it.\u00a0 That was it.\u00a0 That’s all.\u00a0 And I can deal with that.\u00a0 I’ll never forget it.\u00a0 Ever.\u00a0 At least not the pieces I can remember.\u00a0 I just… I just wish I’d had more time.\u00a0 Or could remember the whole thing better.\u00a0 I drop the bag of clothes on the floor by the couch and go to the bedroom to change.\u00a0 Nothing feels quite right on me right now and I forgot to stop at the store to get different detergent.\u00a0 I could go out again but I really don’t want to face people right now.\u00a0 It’s getting late, anyway.\u00a0 The clock on the microwave tells me I’ve killed three hours driving in traffic and shopping.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m exhausted.\u00a0 Mentally and physically.\u00a0 My stomach rolls slightly at the thought of instant food but all I want to do is eat and go to bed.\u00a0 So, I find myself making (microwaving) a random frozen dinner in the kitchen.\u00a0 In my underwear.\u00a0 Not quite a first but I rarely walk around without clothes on.\u00a0 It’s just that I feel comfortable at the moment.\u00a0 Call it my new weight and the way my old clothes itch, if you want.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Food nuked, drink made, I go and sit down at the computer to eat.\u00a0 No new messages on OKCupid, as usual.\u00a0 Nothing on Craigslist.\u00a0 A typical night, basically.\u00a0 I catch up on a few local news stories while I eat but I rush through it.\u00a0 I’ve been turned on all day and need some release.\u00a0 Plus, my ass is starting to hurt.\u00a0 Less padding?\u00a0 Who knows.\u00a0 It’s uncomfortable but not a big deal.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
One good thing about microwaved dinners?\u00a0 No dishes.\u00a0 I toss the tray away then sit back at the computer.\u00a0 With tissues.\u00a0 I have a set of websites I visit for porn.\u00a0 Standard porn and werewolf stuff.\u00a0 I decide it’s an evening for watching real people so I load up RedTube and go to their amateur section.\u00a0 I have a couple favorites and I decide on this one couple where they go through all kinds of different positions.\u00a0 The lady is in shape – not rail thin (gross) but nicely curved.\u00a0 Big tits but not obscenely so.\u00a0 I usually skip straight to doggy-style (my favorite position and the best part of the video) but I let it start from the beginning and fondle myself while they laugh and play with each other.\u00a0 The lady is hot and the guy is in pretty good shape with a decent sized dick.\u00a0 The girl is rolling around half-naked on the bed when I realize what I’m doing.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Usually, I watch the woman and imagine myself doing the undressing and playing.\u00a0 Not this time.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 This time I’m comparing.\u00a0 Like with the mannequin.\u00a0 I’m watching almost as if I’m taking notes on her shape.\u00a0 As if I’m filling in the holes of last night memories with the shape of this woman.\u00a0 As if I’m watching her to get an idea of what I might’ve looked like.\u00a0 It probably doesn’t sound like a big deal but it’s really fucking different for me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Goddammit.\u00a0 I skip ahead to just before she goes to her hands and knees.\u00a0 She’s on her back, naked now, legs and arms wrapped around the guy.\u00a0 He’s fucking her bare and she’s moaning from the pounding she’s getting.\u00a0 I find my eyes drawn to her pussy, watching the guy’s dick and the way she’s moving with him.\u00a0 I tell myself that’s normal.\u00a0 And, it is.\u00a0 I totally do that.\u00a0 Except I’m wondering what it feels like.\u00a0 If it’s much different from what I remember of my fingers in my pussy.\u00a0 In my wet cunt.\u00a0 My sopping wet pussy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My hands are working frantically at my dick now, remembering last night. \u00a0Remembering the little bits I can.\u00a0 Shit, yes.\u00a0 I’m close.\u00a0 The way it felt to have that muscle stretched by those fingers.\u00a0 Fuck, yes.\u00a0 Mmmmm… I’m moaning but I don’t notice.\u00a0 I never moan.\u00a0 Ever.\u00a0 I’m quiet in bed.\u00a0 But I’m moaning now.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Would a dick be different?\u00a0 Different than the way the fingers felt?\u00a0 Sh..shit…so close… so close… the fingers or the dick, I don’t care… just picturing… hands and knees… filled with a thick coc… my orgasm hits hard and cum goes everywhere.\u00a0 Son of a bitch!\u00a0 I forgot the tissues!\u00a0 My toes are curling and I’m still pumping myself and cumming, feeling the hot liquid on my hands and watching it hit my desk.\u00a0 F…fuck… Jesus.\u00a0 My heart is racing, my face is flushed and, oh Jesus, did I just whimper?\u00a0 No, no, no.\u00a0 That shit won’t work.\u00a0 I do not want to be fucking some girl and then… do that.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I sigh and reach for the tissues.\u00a0 The cum is already turning cold on the tops of my fingers.\u00a0 I remember last night.\u00a0 I remember part of that – tasting the girl cum.\u00a0 And my own cum.\u00a0 I stare.\u00a0 My dick stirs feebly at the thought.\u00a0 The thought of tasting my own cum.\u00a0 And I look at it.\u00a0 At my hand.\u00a0 At the nearly clear liquid on my fingers.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I won’t.\u00a0 I can’t.\u00a0 I’ve mostly used condoms in my life but this one semi-serious relationship, we ditched and went bare.\u00a0 I avoided oral with her after cumming.\u00a0 Because that’s what you do, right?\u00a0 You don’t go down on a girl after you’ve cum in her.\u00a0 So, no.\u00a0 I won’t.\u00a0 But the pull is undeniable.\u00a0 Fucking thing!\u00a0 If you’re going to give me something like one night of being a woman then you could do the fucking courtesy of not leaving any bullshit behind!\u00a0 I’m not sure who I’m mentally cursing but I’m mad.\u00a0 Or I tell myself that’s why my heart is racing.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
No, no, no.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Fucking no.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I close my eyes and bring my hand to my lips.\u00a0 I picture it.\u00a0 She-wolf.\u00a0 Woman.\u00a0 Like last night.\u00a0 My dick isn’t feeble any more.\u00a0 I’m mostly hard again.\u00a0 But, in my mind, I’m a she-wolf.\u00a0 I picture it clearly.\u00a0 Only this time I’m on my knees and forearm, reaching a hand to my pussy to grab cum out of me, pulling it to my mouth.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The taste surprises me.\u00a0 It’s good.\u00a0 I didn’t even know I put my fingers in my mouth but I did.\u00a0 And it’s good.\u00a0 Really good.\u00a0 I moan and I can’t fucking help it.\u00a0 It’s a needy kind of moan.\u00a0 I find myself pushing my fingers into my mouth and getting hard because of it, sucking on them as I pull them out, cleaning off the cum.\u00a0 Feeling it against my teeth as I scrape and taste it with my tongue.\u00a0 Salty but a hint of something I can’t describe.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I’m not going to lie.\u00a0 I clean up all of my cum except for the bits on the carpet.\u00a0 And by “clean up”, I mean I use my fingers to pick the cum up and then lick myself off.\u00a0 Not just a quick lick of my fingers but sucking on them.\u00a0 That turns me on almost more than the taste of my own cum.\u00a0 I close my eyes every time I do it.\u00a0 I tell myself that it’s because I’m imagining myself back as the she-wolf but, I’m not.\u00a0 I’m just closing my eyes to taste it.\u00a0 To take away distracting sensations and focus on my mouth.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then I masturbate again.\u00a0 I briefly consider hunching over and aiming for my mouth but, fuck it, I want it on my fingers.\u00a0 I want the feeling of my fingers deep in my mouth as I suck the cum off … the orgasm hits me again and my legs are twisting from it.\u00a0 From the release of pressure in my balls.\u00a0 I held one hand over the held of my dick and I feel the cum hit it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I don’t hesitate.\u00a0 I dip the fingers of my one hand into the cum and start sucking.\u00a0 It’s almost like I’m hypnotized.\u00a0 I have no rational thoughts.\u00a0 None.\u00a0 I’m moaning at the feeling of my fingers in my mouth and the taste of the cum.\u00a0 I swear to god, my dick is trying to get hard again but it’s not happening.\u00a0 And then, I’m clean.\u00a0 And I still want more.\u00a0 I can still feel the taste in my mouth and it actually makes me smile.\u00a0 I… I want to blame this on the wolf.\u00a0 On the woman.\u00a0 It’s just because last night was so recent.\u00a0 Echoes of that.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 I’m wishing my stomach would clench in disgust and I’d throw up but, I don\u2019t.\u00a0 And THAT makes me happy because, shit, because I don’t want to lose this taste in my mouth.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I can’t get comfortable on the chair anymore.\u00a0 My ass actually hurts a lot.\u00a0 A soreness from sitting too long.\u00a0 I glance over at the porn – they lady is straddling the guy and riding his cock.\u00a0 My eyes are drawn to it.\u00a0 His cock.\u00a0 I shut off the thought of wondering what the guy’s cum tastes like.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 That’s too fucking far.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Instead, I kneel on the floor.\u00a0 Like last night.\u00a0 Thighs spread.\u00a0 I can feel the carpet on my balls.\u00a0 I play with them briefly but then go to my hands and knees with my head down and my eyes closed.\u00a0 My ass spreads from the motion and I can feel the air on my asshole.\u00a0 Like this?\u00a0 I picture the she-wolf again.\u00a0 She wants it, I tell myself.\u00a0 She wants to see what this would be like.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She does.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I can still taste the cum in my mouth.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I stand up.\u00a0 My legs are shaky and my ass hurts but I ignore it.\u00a0 A quick scratch to my bare chest and I go wash my hands.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 This will pass.\u00a0 It’ll go away.\u00a0 I’m done with it.\u00a0 Never again.\u00a0 Never fucking again.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I don’t brush my teeth that night.\u00a0 I tell myself it’s because I’m tired but that’s not why.\u00a0 Not at all.\u00a0 I just don’t want to lose the taste of cum in my mouth yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wake to grey light filtering through the blinds in my room.\u00a0 It’s utterly quiet outside.\u00a0 My head is pounding and my throat is completely dry.\u00a0 I feel like I haven’t had water in days.\u00a0 I work my mouth a Continue reading Layers Chapter 2<\/span>